Claire Doesn't Like Doctors

Two weeks before Claire’s 24-month visit to the Pediatrician, Amanda brought out our own bathroom scale so that Claire could practice standing on it before bedtime.  At first Claire was hesitant, but after watching Mommy and Daddy stand on the scale without encountering any harm she was willing to mount the perilous platform.  We may have mentioned “it doesn’t hurt” at least twice because it eventually became the subtitle to this new nightly routine; “I step on tha scale! …it doesn’t huewt!”  She became excited about every chance to step up and even began to “hop” down (which is equal to a Claire “jump” in-that the motion is correct but she never actually leaves the ground).

Despite the two weeks of absolute glee over practicing with the scale, and the lessons about using one at the doctor’s office, it was all for naught.  We might as well have told her that the scale was a treacherous toddler monster and to run for her life if she ever saw one. At least that would have made her behavior more consistent.

The need for practicing this simple act of standing on a scale became apparent when Claire threw a wild temper tantrum during her 18-month checkup.  Amanda said that the entire visit was horrible but the scale, being the first task beyond the waiting room, may have set a mood from which she could not recover.  Looking back, the 12-month checkup experience wasn’t much better and although she could stand up we took one last turn on the baby bed scale that day out of convenience.

At this point I now understand that it was the nurse who set it off. It wasn’t this one particular nurse (although the intense “Hello Claire!” may have surprised the little one) or even a fear of all nurses (since Claire has been pleasant when visiting the OB during Mommy’s pregnancy). It was the fact that the nurse was there looking specifically for Claire. Despite being informed over and over that she’s going to visit the doctor, Claire had not computed what events were about to unfold until the moment the nurse announced her name. In a fraction of a second, the record of bad memories (hospital visits, x-rays, needle pricks, etc.) overwhelmed Claire and she broke down in a fit.  (Or she has no memories of these past events and just broke down because she's two) Since the first scene was indeed the scale, that would end up being the most passionate performance. Claire’s legs went to jelly and she refused to stand, her wails startled the staff that had not had their coffee, and at one point she crawled away on all fours towards the exit.

In the exam room, Claire could be calmed in Daddy’s lap with a book (and a snack) so long as no one who was not Mommy or James or Daddy was in the room. Once the door opened, no one was certain whether Claire would respond with a whimper or full-on cry, but that could be alleviated so long as the intruder did not make direct eye contact with her.  Despite Claire’s weakening protests, Dr. Alli was uncommonly gentle and sweet which reaffirmed how much we enjoy seeing her. The final verdict was that we had ourselves a healthy little toddler.  Claire never opened her mouth for Dr. Alli, but we did get some approximate statistics of 30 pounds, 3 ounces and 35.5 inches long (both around the 95th percentile). 

As a bonus on the visit, Claire got a special Disney band-aid to wrap on her finger after promptly rejecting the plain bandaid. Unfortunately, since the color of the band-aid had nothing to do with her disapproval, it too was torn off before we made it through the exit, so Mommy got some practice with itty-bitty blood stains.

A double extra bonus is that Daddy got to hear the story of how Mommy tried to spit on the doctor  when she was a toddler.